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Bitterness, Assorted Disappointments & Regret

by Mercurial Void

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1.
So you think you got me figured out Oh yeah you really got my number But let me tell you now You haven't got a goddamn clue Expose me to expose me You'll never get what makes me tick And I don't care that you don't Is it your purpose to redirect me I won't resist, have a go Let's all have a laugh Psychically torn in half A spectacle for all to see Attempt to unravel me A seeming battle of wills Testing your gifted skills Your motives come to light I won't even put up a fight Now your psyche is alert You'll receive your just desserts For trying to analyze me With your absurd psychometry Now how proud you must be You unlocked my mystery Mentally erased and cleaned the slate Content in your catatonic state
2.
It's nighttime and I'm on city streets The city seems to be deserted No lights are on either in buildings or streetlights Instead there are speakers on poles on all the street corners A muffled voice in monotone is emitting from them I can't make out the words but I know he's speaking to me A helicopter is in the sky with it's searchlight on And I've been hiding from it These horrible visions Will I never be free of them Searching, accusing I'll never escape from them I'm in a dimly lit room speaking to someone I can't quite make out their face A man bursts through the door and starts to strangle me His grip is too strong I can't break it The person I was speaking to has disappeared The man choking me is screaming at the top of his lungs He keeps screaming I'll have your soul It goes on and on but I never die
3.
Lo and behold Once your future now your past Should have known security Would never last The atrocities of the past will not compare To the horrors we will have to bear Stand tall and wipe away your tears Force yourself to face your fears Future Surreal It's unthinkable, difficult to concieve What we've consumed was meant to decieve Sedating yourself greedily quenching thirst But we've not hardly seen the worst Future Surreal Now you can see what the future holds It's much worse than what you'd been told Hot winds of time will sear and sear Torn from your shelter to confront your fears Your subconscious can't block what you feel Forced to face the future surreal
4.
Clarity 07:12
As we approach the end of the road Do you mean to tell me it was a lie What do I do with this information Is it supposed to provide clarity It's that special moment when you realize That the joke was on you Relish the smirks on their faces Knowing you've only yourself to blame I see it all clearly now Illusions cast aside True intention laid bare At the expense of your pride Savor the sting because moments are fleeting Make sure to enjoy the burn Time may lessen this awful sensation And that would mean no lesson learned Exposed and transparent I see your lies shining Forcing my eyes to dilate The truth may be painful but clarity is cleansing And I will accept this fate
5.
Discarded 08:06
When the end comes you'll know it You will understand when your scars glow red You won't be notified, simply pulled aside You've been discarded The thankless task of living, no incentive given Just rendered obsolete Thrown on the scrap heap, no longer useful You've been discarded Banished to this grey stone limbo Metallic eyes won't see you Invisible to the desired Ghost like and expired Didn't you know this was reserved for you all along You haven't got the right to be surprised Surrender yourself to the inevitable Realized far too late Searching endlessly, trying all in vain To gain familiarity Hoping against all hope someone will remember And breathe life back into me Aimlessly wondering, wearing grooves in the sand That no one else can see Condemned to obscurity, annonymous to the world Until even your name is lost
6.
Friends until the end, isn't that what we said Comrades thicker than blood Lending a hand or even a shoulder to cry on I really thought that we were that close It threw me just how quickly you turn I must admit it caught me off guard Going where your bread is buttered Do you even feel genuine emotion For anyone but yourself The cycle of history is repeating Proving you are an emotional weakling Who will be your crutch - when you fall Friends no more Lower than a lying whore Helplessly bent to your masters law Friends no more You pulled the shortest straw Friends no more A fairweather friend of convenience Are we only here to pick up the pieces Like we've done so many times before Not this time, in the end When you're scattered in the wind I'll turn my head when you fall What a joke, thick or thin WHen the cards fell you cashed your chips in Convincing yourself that it's not true Lying to yourself, you feel like a fool But you wont practice what you preach Attached to a dysfunctional leech Taken it too far, can't you see Forcefeeding yourself a false reality
7.
8.
Wake up each morning and look into the mirror And see the same face Wake up each morning to greet the new day But it's always the same I'm drowning, I'm burning In the grips of depression I'm yelling, I'm screaming In the grips of depression I don't envy your fantastic life How could I miss something I've never known They say you should turn to someone who cares for you But I've always been alone I'm wallowing, sinking In the grip of depression I'm choking, smothering In the grip of depression Loathing life becomes an obsession Quickly becoming emotional destruction No passion in life or one single friend Everyone deserted me in the end
9.
Life's just a series of events This is the path I choose for mine But before you take this winding trail Make sure you don't waste our time Don't purchase what you can't afford A life of labor with no reward If you can't finish, don't even start Because this life will break your heart Raise your voice and stake your claim But you and only you will take the blame Stand up straight and face your fears Or just fall down into a puddle of tears The goodand bad will both give their share And don't complain that it's not fair Steady your resolve, don't fall apart Because this life might break your heart Wine, women and fifteen minutes of fame When your run is over will they remember your name You'll find the glamour's nothing but a fable Nothing's free what will you bring to the table Walk the line with no regrets Cross your fingers and hedge your bets Keep your horse before the cart High expectations will break your heart Be prepared to pay your dues And be a slave to your own muse It will rip you and pick you apart Chance's are it'll break your heart

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released August 28, 2020

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Mercurial Void Columbus, Ohio

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